Sous Le Ciel De Paris

Sing my blues~

Drink a coffee or tea under the shade of the mighty old tree.
Flip through the pages of what they call newspapers and toss it aside.
Hear the giggles of the ladies who just came out of the shop.
And then there is this boy shouting and chasing after his playful dog.
Couples walking in a world of their own,attached and detached from this world at the same time.
Of coz parents with babies and beautiful kids laze around in the lazy summer.

C'est si bon!

Bring me the life I want.

This is Sunday.

This is the Sunday that I know.
Wake up late.
Alone.
Lousy brunch/lunch.
Music.
Internet.
Housechores.
Maybe grocery shop but maybe not.(not enough $)
And do whatever I want.
Probably slack once more.

I do love it if my family are with me today but guess I am much accustomed to this kinda Sundays.

I always miss studying.
My bro asks me every now and then if I plan to further studies.(Throw in some random questions relating to this asked by colleagues and so on.)

If I am studying,I would probably be flipping some notes now.(or maybe not.) and my table would be pile with notes.And I would be blogging about campus life instead of the monotonous working lifestyle.

I said I have no money to carry on studies.(which is true.)
I dont wanna study for the sake of it.(which is true too.)

But really so what if I cont'd study?
I am in a line whereby I see graduates having more difficulty finding job than poly graduates.
Dont ask me to study HR.I will puke all over the place that you will have a very difficult time to clear up.
I,of all persons,have the most adverse likings for HR.
No doubt I am partially in the line now but at least it is still sales cum HR.

Speaking of sales,I always feel this burning hunger deep inside to get more.
It is not enough for me to just "sub" from Tracy.
I wanna get a big client for myself that I could get orders everytime.

For a month,it doesnt seem that bad but slightly more than half of my sales came from Tracy's orders.
It simply means without her,I will get no where close to what I closed as of today.

Clara always jokingly said that I would be buying all the LVs(they are branded freaks) in a few years to come.
Hell I care about the branded lifestyle.

Nothing pleases me more than the happiness that simplicity can brings.

No doubt I really envy those living in hotel-like apartments in town area.(Oh..those lavish lifestle.)
Have tea in a cafe and so...
Guess I would stick to what I am leading.
I so believe that if I manage to indulge in that lifestyle everytime,there is nothing worth to be envy about and then life gets boring.
And you will have nothing to look fwd to.

Such is humans.
Of coz I may not be saying the same things years down the road but well..wait till then.

So what do I care about the sales and the money that it can bring?

First it is an essential fuel to have in this line.
Secondly,I dun wanna be in the situations whereby at the end of each month,I fret about the drying river.
(And I will never have enough money to buy what I want.)

So starting now,more stringent plans.

I have no wish to acknowledge nor deny at the same time that who I am today is partially due to who my brother is.

I simply have no idea how people of my age can still shop so much,enjoy themselves so much despite the fact that they family is well off or not.
How did they get so much money?How come they can just do whatever they want?
I come to think that MONEY is the major source that marks the gap.

Like I realised that there is no unfairness in this world but only the fine line of gap between the rich and the poor.(thus the different treatment and life.)

And am I the only one that feel the need to push or simply because I put my family way on top of everything?

I am not open to expressing my concerns and love to my family.
Sometimes it almost seem that I aint doing anything for it.
But God knows that I am always trying.(Or am I really?)

Or...
It is just me.
Simply wants to excel when I always stuck in a world whereby there are always someone on top of you?
I dont care about the others,really.
I just wanna outdo myself each time.

Oh relax!
I always hear this from people who come to know who I am.
I do know how to,but there is only so much that I can enjoy.
I wanna do more,enjoy more,with nothing that can limits me AND bring the same kinda enjoyment that my family deserves.

But why is it that there is only this much that I can do?
Impatient I am?

At the end of the day...
Is everything that I talk about real or mainly a wrapper that beautifully coat my own selfish desires and fool the world?

I cannot tell what's right and wrong, what's real or not about me anymore.
I just choose to take one and believe that this is me.

This is not lost of identity.
But simply it came that I choose to decipher everything in a more complex manner.
I dunno why I would like to think so.

But I am not that complex,you see.
I am as simple as ABC.
The simplest gesture can bring sparks to my day.
So it is not difficult.

Remember that I once said that there is so many colours painted in me?
One contrasting and off setting another.

Anyway...it's ironic how a simple post becomes my blahing again.

Ignore this post.
*waves off*



Oh..BLAH!

It's a shame that how Saturday always pass like a whizz wherelse each weekday took so long to end.

Made an effort not to count everyday but make everyday counts.

I miss you.

Something Stupid

I know I stand in line,
until you think you have the time
To spend an evening with me
And if we go someplace to dance,
I know that there's a chance
You won't be leaving with me

And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place
And have a drink or two
And then I go and spoil it all,
by saying something stupid Like: "I love you"

I can see it in your eyes,
that you despise the same old lies
You heard the night before
And though it's just a line to you,
for me it's true
It never seemed so right before

I practice every day to find some clever lines to say
To make the meaning come through
But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late
And I'm alone with you

The time is right your perfume fills my head,
the stars get red
And oh the night's so blue
And then I go and spoil it all,
by saying something stupid Like: "I love you"

-Frank Sinatra


Oh good o'Frank Sinatra!

Why must ur album under the 3 for $49.90 and not the 20% off!
If not I would be listening to you right now..

Grow old with you...

Sure that all of us heard of this song by Adam Sandler.
And I call it the "Male Maid" song.
Hehz.

But such song is very true with Jason.
I mean it goes very well with him.

Coz that song is Jason.
Haha.

It's amazing.

I think I am lucky.

One lucky duck.
(Why is the duck lucky?And not other animals?
Like why is the rat dirty and not the pig?)

I hope this goes on...

Dont wanna miss another soul.

Starry starry night
paint your palette blue and grey

look out on a summer's day
with eyes that know the
darkness in my soul.

Shadows on the hills
sketch the trees and the daffodils
catch the breeze and the winter chills
in colors on the snowy linen land.

And now I understand what you tried to say to me
how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.

They would not listen
they did not know how
perhaps they'll listen now.

Starry
starry night
flaming flo'rs that brightly blaze
swirling clouds in violet haze reflect in
Vincent's eyes of China blue.

Colors changing hue
morning fields of amber grain
weathered faces lined in pain
are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand.

And now I understand what you tried to say to me
how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.

perhaps they'll listen now.

For they could not love you
but still your love was true
and when no hope was left in sight on that starry
starry night.

You took your life
as lovers often do;

But I could have told you
Vincent
this world was never meant for one
as beautiful as you.

Starry
starry night
portraits hung in empty halls
frameless heads on nameless walls with eyes
that watch the world and can't forget.

Like the stranger that you've met
the ragged men in ragged clothes
the silver thorn of bloddy rose
lie crushed and broken
on the virgin snow.

And now I think I know what you tried to say to me
how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.

They would not listen
they're not
list'ning still
perhaps they never will.


-Don Mclean



For Vangolf initially(the song).
For someone as beautiful as you.

For a brother that I love.
I really hope that you will live better.
Time after time,you dropped hope to the pit.
Please...let this be the final time.

For my parents.
In your eyes,I saw the pain.
I really wish I can paint them away.
Gimme a little bit more time.
I will strive to do more.
Just a little bit more time.

For my lil brother who is close to me.
No matter how we quarrel and fight,you still know that you are the precious brother that I love.
We will never put it words and it doesnt have to be.

For my friends who thought they lost me.
Dont be silly.
I am always watching in a corner,quietly praying for you.

For my friends who I may have lost.
You know who you are.
I dont think you read anymore.
I am still not sorry for sorry is not the line that would mend the broken line.
You know what happened exactly.
I still miss you alot.
Even if we never gonna talk,it's ok.
The memories you left are good enough.


For those that I hurt in my ignorance.
Your love is beautiful,no doubt.
Just that you chose to love a not-beautiful person.
I am pretty sure that you people move on and forget about me.
It's ok for I never want you to remember me.
It's a pain to bear those things that hurt.

For you that I will always miss.
You are always beautiful.
But it's time to face the truth, I will never be with you.
(And you know I dont mean it in the stuck up manner.)

And for you who stay.

Starry starry night..

Paint your palette blue and grey.

You are the sparkle there.

I know the last entry was harsh.

But hell he deserved the cuss.

Not once,not twice.

But all his life.

What the...

Pardon me...

To my dear brother whose in UK now,


You are a fucker!
Down right dissapointment!

Love,
Sis

Life's good.
Ok la.

Nothing much to complain.

Listening to the same old songs.
Watching over the same old building.
Tracing the same old path.

Am I looking for something that's isnt there?

I love listening to David Tao's "Beach"
San Tan...

Blue..blue..sad..blue...

"She would rather light candles than curse the darkness and her glow has warmed the world."

- Adlai Stevenson, Eulogy of Eleanor Roosevelt, November 7, 1962

Ok,I changed the skin once more.
told ya I would be testing.
Actually I kinda like this one.Looks cute.
Hehz.

I know some of my friends are feeling a lil down recently.
I know....Even if you didnt choose to tell me.

Sometimes no amount of words help.
We all know the encouraging lines.
As much as I would wanna be there for you,I guess you too need time to sort out yourself.
Besides you haven't invite me in to share with you.

I believe that God plans everything for a reason.
You should believe too.

When your day seems grey,just hang in there.
The rainbow will soon emerge.

Alot of obstacles that were presented to us are meant for us to find a way out ourselves.
You can count on others to lend you the support you need but you are mature enough to know that you are doing the drive yourself.

So my friends...Please stay happy.
Remember that living in the present in important?
Leave the sorrows of yesterday behind.
Leave the worries of tomorrow ahead.
They are not meant to bring you down today.

The sorrows/pain of last night is to let you realise and be thankful for the joy you could enjoy today.
The worries of tomorrow is to let you find solutions and face things positively today.
Besides....It is not too late to prevent those worries of tomorrow when you do it right today.

Too many things can bring us down.
Too many.

But well,still tomorrow is worth looking forward to?

Be thankful that we are living safely,in perfect health and our love ones safe and sound,yea?

You cant be sad everyday.
You cant be crying everynight.

You cant be alone all the time.

You still have me.

Live your life wisely.

I will always pray for you.;)

I changed the skin once more.
Just testing out.
Will keep changing and then stick back to the original one.

Though the Monday blues hung around but work was fine today.
Infact a lil' slow till I got a lil drowsy.

Supposed that my Monday is gonna be good till a last minute bomb!
-_-"
Tomorrow's gonna be rush hour once more.

The song, "From the heart" never fails to get me.
From the very first time I listened till now.

"From the heart...I promised you that I will be there.
I will be there to love you...."

The world just keep on spinning.
There is never enough time for you and me.

While you are alone,do me think of me too?

I am asking as a friend,as a buddy,as just a familiar face in ur memories.

Do you really take me for who I am?

Do you remember me?

I hate to lose touch.

Dont walk into my heart and vanish the very next minute.

How can you?

Again...It wasnt very nice dreams for me.

Lately the dreams get more and more bizzarre.
Somehow scary but I am trying to be brave in it.

I hope it's sweet dreams for you tonight and the rest of the nights.

=)

On 23rd July

It was Seven hundred and thirty days.(And then another thirty.)

We spent most of our time in Sim Lim Square.

Could have spend it more wisely but this is again a necessity!
Good old CPU died on me some days ago.
It refused to be switch on.
It breathed it last on last Sunday night when I used it.
=/

And blah blah blah....

We walked around.
Clarke Quay and all.
Of coz those green moving vehicles were much of a hassle(to mobile convenience,sight,listening and then breathing.)

I am not a very patriotic kind.
And I dun see the wonders of our army vehicles,especially when it is disrupting the whole traffic.

Anyway....

We ended our night at Waffle Town.

The place wasn't designed to be warm or cozy but the it feels so.

Wasnt crowded(anymore)

And it's really not much of a health food that they are selling.

To be exact...their waffles tasted normal.

But I guess it's the warmth there.

Exactly that it isnt crowded and it is situated in an isolated place.(well..not really.)

It's those kinda place whereby you feel sweet and warm when you dated there.
Wanna bring ur family there.
Vision to bring ur own family there one day.
And then...see people of ur age then date there.

Those kinda place...y'noe.

7-3-0.

It isnt that long,is it?

=)

You are pure, moral, and adaptable.You tend to blend into your surroundings.Shy on the outside, you' friends.
You believe that you live a virtuous life...And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye.As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

TheWorld's Shortest Personality Test

http://www.quizdiva.net/shortestpersonalitytest/white.jpg"> %20color="#000000">You are pure, moral, and adaptable.You tend to blend into your surroundings.Shy on the outside, you' friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life...And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye.As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

'>http://www.blogthings.com/worldsshortestpersonalitytest/">

The World's Shortest Personality Test

And finally....

I am back with a brand new computer.
New speakers.
New CPU.
New monitor.
Whooping $900 but it's not incurred under my name.
*Phew*
Of coz...It is all thanks to Jason.
Without him,I guess I wouldnt even be bother to squeeze in the crowd of Sim Lim.
Not a gadget gal.
I understand nuts about electronics and technology.
So the only thing that wow me about them are the price(but of coz) and the design.

A few days behind.
Missing quite a few entries.

Will glue them back in a while.

Work's ok,I guess.

Some people are nasty.
Some do fine.
Some are a hassle.
Some,you simply have to flash ur smile.

It's monotonous in a way.
It's boring.
It's rountine.
It's rushing alot of time.

Clara told me that I have the drive.
Drive?For sales?

I didnt even think I have it.
I simply just rush thru it and find candidates after candidates coz it's like..I have to?
I wasnt even thinking about the figures.
Besides I am like a sub contractor to Tracy.
Whatever she passed down,I have to find so ASAP.

Is that a drive?
It's like an no option anyway.

Tomorrow is Monday again.
Another week.

I am trying to do more.

I may be teaching right now but it wont last forever.

What about the plans that I had initially?

Language class.
Gym class.
Donating blood.(Oh that can be done anytime but I find no companion.)
Volunteering?(I see that can be postpone to an indefinite period.)
And so much more.


It's been a month since I worked(again.)

I should and could have done more right?

I guess with my next pay,it's time to evaluate my financial steps again.

Alot of loopholes,I noted.

Bad sign.

Beam up for the coming week.

Coz we have no holidays till Nov.

Unless you count in the National Day which is like Tuesday?
And when is the Election Day coming?
It had better be a Monday!

Some people are decreed with it.

Yet some actually never dealt with it all their lives.

Some cant stand it.

Yet some cant live without it.

Some avoid it at all costs.

Yet some actually really like it.

Some cant shake off it no matter how.

Yet some would love to experience it.

Some have no issues with it but would prefer not to have it.

Y some just need it for good.

Some hate it.

Yet some can't live without it

Some just wallop into self pitiness by thinking they are always stuck with it.

Yet some just stay nonchalent about it.

Some...like me, though scare of it but is already accustomed to it.

Take it away from me and I will feel nauseaous and suffocating.













I am just talking about solitude.

I think it is somewhat necessary for me...sometimes.

Fly me to the moon

Not that I wanna play among the stars.

Not that I wanna see how spring looks like on Jupiter and Mars.

Not that I am trying to tell you that I love you.

Just that I wanna be alone.

Sometimes I find this place a little stifling.

Sometimes I find...

Being alone is necessary.

I wanna runaway..

"I gotta close my eyes from this ugly planet.Uou once told me that only in my dreams,I seek solace. Nowadays Lala land aint peaceful for me too..."

"Ok...Wait for me..I'm coming into your dreams to save you tonight."


"Reach out ur hand.Take me and gallop away to an unknown land.A land of tranquility.A land locked by a key."

"No..I will just put you in my arms.And shield you away frm anything else that comes our way."

"I guess that will do too.Heavy my heart feels.Light are my steps.Solitude I chose.A soul that knows me (really) I seek.My dance steps arelight and random...yet signatures a sad smile."

Grant me an old man's frenzy,
Myself must I remake
Till I am Timon and Lear
Or that William Blake
Who beat upon the wall
Till Truth obeyed his call;

A mind Michael Angelo knew
That can pierce the clouds,
Or inspired by frenzy
Shake the dead in their shrouds;

Forgotten else by mankind,
An old man's eagle mind.

- William Butler Yeats, "from An Acre Of Grass "

I feel handicapped...

When my cpu died on me.

Alot to blog.
Alot could have been blog.

And now I lost an avenue to my altar.

Sigh.

Stay Qoo~~~

Ok,trying to be corny here.

Anyway,Jason..
Be cool about it.
I ain't angry about my computer loss and surprised that you took it harder than I do.
Ok,maybe that also partly contributed to why I ain't angry.

Indeed what's lost are precious,particularly those photos.
But I guess it is fate.
Morever I should have a way to retrieve those photos?
Even if I cant,it's ok.

So be qoo~
^^

Work was busy.
Very busy.
Very very busy.
But I felt accomplished.
It took away the blues,left me no time to think about it.

Tuition gotta be at faster pace.

My social life is a lil busy this week but I guess it's one good sign too.

God is good to me so I shall be thankful too.

So is everything smooth for me?

I guess in a way,yes.

I am too prepared for the down twirl.
It's life.
Ups and downs.

I am still constantly missing alot of people.

I just hope that they are happy.

Recently...I had been having nightmares.
Not those scary ghostly ones all the times.
But on the not so nice and though impossible in real life(well..dreams?) kinda stuff.


If only we can choose our dreams.

=/

Stay happy for me?
As long as you have the nice dreams,I dun mind occasional nightmares on ur behalf.

Smile?

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
*beep*
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end

You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,I will never be with you.

(Who is this man trying to play?The goodwill sacrificial lamb?I think he is selfish too!)

Nuit Et Jour

If some days I shone like an emerald,today I am definitely just a stone.
An ugly listless one.

I think my lil bro is irritatingly adorable sometimes.

An hour ago,he was rude to my dad again.
Although I understand he started with a right intention but the tone was wrong.

Again I threatened with my infamous threats.
And he came to pay his internet debt and asked me when I am free for dinner.

=/

And I talked to him and counselled him.
(As if he will rem' for life.)


Saturday was extremely short.
Guess it is pretty much ruined last night.

I wouldnt wanna rule whose fault it is.

But come to know 4 moods of mine at least.

1)An extremely chirpy,smart and witty me.
2)A very blur,silly,dophey me.
3)A grown up me that's in touch with my own world and then shut the rest out.
4)A tantrumatic baby.(usually when I am very tired)

Obviously you would preferred the first 2.

But I am all of the above.

My home is my only solace.
My comfort zone.
My rest ground.
My altar of rejuvenation.

Of coz it is nicer to have my family with me.
But in my home,I am not scare to be alone too.
For I am much used to solitude,that's grown in me inside.

Why?
You think I chose that...on purpose?
To act cool,mystifying and then seek pity?

Everyone is born to seek and finish his/her mission in life.
We are all here for a reason,aren't we?

One path...
We keep exploring.

We may fall.
We may get injured.
We may get trapped.
We may get tired.
We may feel lonely.
We may feel hopeless.

But...
We just keep going.

Sometimes we find treasures.
Sometimes we may lost what should belonged to us.
Sometimes we meet new people whom we thought are friends.
Sometimes they are really friends and then maybe foes.
Sometimes we receive aid.
Sometimes we are just stabbed deeper.

Yet...
We shouldn't give up.

I was reading what I blogged a year back.
Surprisingly it took a year and even less for things in my life to change.

Not alot change.
Not that I've changed alot.

I admitted from the very first ground that that was how I felt.
And it is still how I feel.

I guess I've been like this since young.

Guess that is me.

But I am changed.

For better or worse,I dare not pass the sentence.

All I think is that I am more definitely stronger than before.

The sky had fell on me many times and I believe it has more to come.

I just hope...

You will stay happy.

You...

Only I know who are the yous.

Nuit Et Jour.

I am always praying for your(s) happiness.

Bonnuit.
Bonjour.

Et...

Bonnuit.

In Anonymous Codes

Many times,you realised it is not the environment that changed.
Perhaps an architectural model would remain there for years and years to come, yet the faces that you know are no longer there.

Reminiscent acts filled your heart with a sweet bitter and even sour taste.
Cant things be the same anymore?

Same old place,I roamed about.
Yet those who were once with me no longer stands besides me.

Alas,a shame!
Yet who is to be blame?

I think of yesterday.
Oh was it only yesterday that we are laughing on the same line or it really only seem like yesterday?

I badly wish that there comes a tomorrow soon to be shared by you and me.
Only to be blurred by the each passing day filled with disappointment.

Two thousand and five..

I learned alot.
I gave alot.
I perhaps take alot too?
Yet...I lost alot.
Too quickly,too soon.

All overnight loses.

YOU...
grieved my soul.

My tattered soul.

C'est Si Bon,,,Non!

E'nuff said!

Sing me a song

Sing me a song

Paint me a picture

Dream me a dream

Crack me a joke

Twirl me a dance

Dry me a tear

Cry me a river

For better or worse...

Would you forget me?

Runaway..

Unlike how the Coors sang it,you are just plainly running away.
...
Hurts me so,worse..with no reason.

Nothing romantically involved here though*
Understand me pls...


Here the song.(Reminds me of how Nina sang that beautifully...I know Jason do miss those jamming sessions)
(European characters are not allowed here..)

Say it's true,there's nothing like me and you
I'm not alone
Tell me you feel it too
And I would runaway I would runaway,
yeah, yeah I would runaway
I would runaway with you.

Dis que c'est vrai, il n'y a rien comme moi et toi
Je ne suis pas seule
Dis-moi ce que tu as aussi ressenti
Et je m'enfuirais Je m'enfuirais,
oui, oui Je m'enfuirais
Je m'enfuirais avec toi.

'Cause I have fallen in love
With you, no never have
I'm never gonna stop fallin' in love, with you

Parce que je suis tombee amoureuse
De toi, je n'etais jamais tombee amoureuse
Je ne vais jamais arrêter de t'aimer.

Close the door, lay down upon the floor
And by candlelight
Make love to me through the night
Cause I have runaway
I have runaway,
yeah, yeahI have runaway, runaway
I have runaway with you.

Ferme la porte, couche-toi sur le sol
Et a la lumiere des chandelles
Fais-moi l'amour dans la nuit
Parce que je me suis enfuie
Je me suis enfuie,
ouiJe me suis enfuie, enfuie
Je me suis enfuie avec toi.

Identity uncovered!!

Recently I received a msg at Friendster from a lady who goes something like this...

"hey lady,u caught my attention..y'noe.
Care to be friends?"

I was rather surprised coz it is a female that actually tell me this?
Sounds a little weird yet intriguing in a manner huh?

So when I asked her where have I caught her attention?

She told me this,"I Think you have got a X factor look."

???

To illustrate her point..here's M[ch's latest shot.



X factor in her eyes..


Umm...
Either that...or she must had uncovered my identity in Xmen!


Darn.
I should have been more discreet!

;)

How deep in your love?

Guowei and I are now msging each other.
I wished him bday on the 7th and he returned his on the 12th.

And now he asked me,"How deep is ur luv to ur bf"

My reply:

"Such is not measured by words,deep or shallow.
I just leave it to nature.(course)
Should you see one day that we are together or not,its already all written in the stars>"

His reply?
"Wah..so chim ah!"

You understand de la..Haha.

The many happy returns...

I think I better record down the many wishes from my friends before my hp cant store them all.
(though I would prefer keeping them physically but I guess I have to make do with the next best.)

This msg came all the way from Dubai and it reached here at 11.30pm plus.WOW!

Jules-Sweet 21st birthday my dear friend. \(^^)/
May ur dreams n wishes come true.
*huggies* -Jules.
(She is one flawless angel in my life!Now a high soaring Emirates stewardness.My inspiration and ideal angel!)

Yiyin - Welcome...Hope you like the top I get 4 you.Hee..

(I love it gal,it's just one size too big.Ha..)

Irene - No thanks.Hope you enjoy it.Love too.

(She is one of the those that has the best fortune amg us.Also the one getting engaged end of this year..Awww..)

Ruiqiang - Okie..Hope you love the bag.Happi Birthdae once again..Take care.

(Um...Ok,I shall love the bag,I promise!^^)

Jaslyn - Hope to see ya again soon.Happy birthday!Enjoy urself!

(I think she is behind Irene,if not on par..if you know what I mean.)

Daniel - in 30 mins time,a girl in this world 'll turn 21.stepping into a new world!;) have a
wonderful birthdaymay ur wishes come true!

( I miss Daniel!Those times spent with him were very very sweet indeed.And I mean,we are good friends.My 'Ronnie' was from him!Hehe.)

Shaowei- Happy 21st birthday ma!Hope u like the things we bought for u..Enjoy your birthday.
21st birthday only happens once. Take care.

(yes,my son.I love all the things you all gave.The other ages also only happen once.)

Marc - Happy 21st birthday!

(I guess I bullied him too much in those Seraya days thus he can only come up with one line.Lol.Thank you,you will always be my fav brand of marc-oroni!)

Jason - Gosh!This is it!Happy birthday my gal!U might be 21,but u'll still be e little gal that I'll
cherish..Love ya dear!

(his msg actually came at 3.38 am?So..he just woke up for a drink and realised it is already 12th or he knows the timing of my birth?That I dunno either!And yes,remember ur lines or I will use my Contract Laws notes to sue you!Ha..Merci,Jason!)

Lay Keow - Happy birthday gal!Thanks for letting me know you.Thanks for being such a
wonderful person!Luv ya!All the best!

(Thank you gal!I love you too!Just dont meet me for selling ur company ideas to me again.;p)

Yvonne - HapPoi birtdae gal gal!Tdy is ur day!Happy 21st!

(Indeed!I love u vonny!)

Jade - Happy Birthday,gal! Many happy returns and showers of blessing on this special
day..love you always!

( Thanks ah Jie!I love you too!Without the guys,we are as good as les already.Haha.)

John - Joyuex Anniversaire,Chuan Ling!

(Merci Monsieur John!I actually love this msg coz it is in French!Hee...Arigato John san!)

Evelyn- Happy 21st birthday ger!Hope ur dream come true...All the best to u in the near
future..Hehe..I know u had enjoyed ur birthday celebration with ur bf and
friends..hehe..Enjoythis special day..I will pass u ur present again ..k?

(No hurry,lovely.But that sure means one thing..We are gonna meet again~~~^^Study hard and all the best too)

Shervin -Whish u a blessed bdae..may u grow up 2 b a beautiful angel n best of health...

(Thanks lovely.I must admit that ur wishes stand up amg many.Few would wish best of health but I guess that's u.Thank you.)

Guowei- Happy Bday!May all ur wishes come true...

(Thankyou!May urs come true too!)

Jialiang- Eh gal.Happy bday.

(I am very surprised u know!A dinner on friday,deal;) )

Mingli - HAPPY Birthday!Hope you have a blasted time!Hugs!God bless u my dear fren =) )

(God bless u too!I had a blasted time a few days ago and today is very normal.Haha.Ironic though.See you very soon,I hope!Rem' our "pact"?)

Edlyn- Happy 21st birthday!

(And in months to come,it would be my turn dropping u this line.=) )

Peikang -(in frienster's msg)hey y can't i get u on ur handphone?? change no ah?? anyway Happy 21st Birthday. didn't invite me to ur birthday party...... sadden........

(no la,kor!I where got bday party!Haha.Anyway thanks!)

Uncle - ling,wish u 21 happy birthday,ur dad is recover already, they wil b back tml.don b home 2 late, enjoy urself.

(Aww..uncle..I am very early.My actual 21st bday is as plain as normal.It is yet another day.Guess I was tired liao)



Also to include the many wonderful pple celebrating it and 3 testi from RQ(again^^) , Shuyi and Vita.
-Clara,Ashley,Tracy,Sherlyn,Jacqueline,Cheng Cheng,Xiang Xuan,Hender.
-HuayLee,Jen,Shuyi,Justin,Mingli,Joanne,Jade,Marc.
-Rq,SW,Huiling,Jaslyn,Wei Seing,Irene,Von,Yin

The gifts so far...

A necklace from my mum.
A TAKA necklace from Seraya bunch.
A ness bag from Success bunch.
A LOREAL facial set from Clara.
A B.Braun wallet from Jason.(I actually feel smug using it.)
A Forever 21 brown top from Yin n Sw
A brown bag from the rest of BM202 clip.

And....
A top from U2.
A Bistro Blue album .
A Charles and Keith shoes.

FROM ME.
I admit I am spending but....Ok ok..no more ok!I will keep my cards to myself.

Not alot..not too little.
I actually ask for nothing,I swore.

I remember my first wish made when blowing the cake at my work place is for everyone ard me to be happy.
The second one blown with Jade n co was the same.
The thrid one blown last night was my dad to recover soon and their health forever.

I dunno what can I wish for.
The same with my prayers...I always pray the same thing that in the end doesnt involve myself.

I guess the only time that I can remember clearly that I prayed for myself was the day When I rec my PSLE results.I was a nerveball then.
I had very bad score though,dont ask me what hor!

Perhap I had my celebrations too early that I woke up my birthday feeling so alone and rain is here to accompany me.

Ok,God...I returned my tiara to you.
My prayers had been answered.
I am thankful.

I know what I had said earlier on.
You will mark my words,right?

Hmmm...
I had another 12 hours to go....to be Cinderella..The house is a mess...

Groans....The many happy returns...

Bon Anniversaire!

To myself.
And all the Juillet 12th babies.

Bon Anniversaire!

Once in a year is every age.Not just 21.

Thank God for allowing me so far.

I still have alot to uncover...be with me.

Merci to my lovely friends.
Your kind wishes and gifts are most appreciated!
Je T'aime!

Merci mon garon!
I need not to spell it all over again.

Merci to my parents!
I had my first two wishes when I blowed the candles spent on the world.
Today's one is for you.

I wished for your health and safety.

Merci....
?

Um...

Happy Birthday..to Mich!

She is officially Twenty One.
Dreaded figure though.
Haha.

Bonnuit!

When I listened to French Blues...

...I felt as if I stepped in a black and white movie.
Those kinda you can hear the film rolling and everyone's actions are ironic.
Those kinda settings at a cafe.
The server is always with a bow tie.
The mademoiselle is always dress in pom-pom dress and nice curls hair.
The monsieur is always neat,polite and with neat comb slick hair.

I am still no master of that romantic language.
I am still a stranger to that foreign land.
Yet I always feel connected with it.

It is perhaps a passing phase.

France,afterall has her ugly side.
But who doesnt?

It is perhaps the act of her people that flawed her beauty in those unwritten years.

Braced myself up for the dinner with my friends earlier on.
It was I,who initiated this gathering.
It is perhaps for me that all of them(rarely) turn up.

We had our dinner at Lemongrass.
I say the starter-Tom Yam soup spoilt everything.
It resulted us feel nauseous at the end of the meal.
I was shocked when I saw the receipt.
Less than $40 to $300!
And we cant finished everything.
Plus their cake for me?The presents?

From their gifts,I realised my friends may have a few misconception about me.
I dont wear a M-edium size top.
I tried it on but it still proved a lil big and thus failed the effect of that top.
My fav colour is not brown.
They bought a brown top and the bag is too brown.(so is the cake.)
I dont have a fav colour but clasping in all brown is not idealistic.
And that bag...is not quite my taste too.
=/
If I could accessorize up that bag,it may look better.
I am a critic sometimes,I stand corrected.
Most times I am.

But I still love everything.
Especially the thoughts,the wishes and the gestures.

I dont like big beautiful things.
The things I love doesnt have to be complicated nor expensive.

My joy comes from the simplest thing in life.
It could be that a dollar capsule toy,a dollar potong ice cream,a self burn CD with all the good songs,a simple meal at your regular kopi tiam,and really your smile.

I dont wanna sound saint nor angelic.
You know I am not.

I am your regular sinner down the streets.

I am your regular angel down the streets.

I am your regular 20s down the streets.

I am your regular plain jane down the streets.

I am your regular ask-to-be-model down the streets.

I am your regular Mademoiselle lonely and sad down the streets.

I am your regular Mademoiselle happy and joyful down the streets.

I am your regular think Love is troublesome down the streets.

I am your regular think Love is divine down the streets.

I am your regular procrastinator down the streets.

I am your regular time is no awasting down the streets.

I am your regular loner down the streets.

I am your regular part of the party down the streets.

I am your regular health eater down the streets.

I am your regular I love French Fries/Ice creams/Chocolates down the streets.

I am your regular little gal who squeals with joy with every little things that excite her down the streets.

I am your regular grown woman who knows more than you think she can down the streets.

I am many.

I am none.

It is amazing how God painted so many different colours each contrasting another in me.

It's like I am sweet and bitter,emerald and stone.

Those who cant differeniate diagnosed this act as schizoprenia.

Get outta my sight.
Dont judge me and misjudged me.

I know that my prayers are heard.
I know that there is someting that I have to pay back.
Give and take.
Take and give.
It is part of the rules.

I know that I have to be ready.

Readied my soul.

I know that I am made to learn.

I need to see the storm before I can appreciate the rainbow;)

I thought that it is a cruel joke to pull on me.
How can my father be in peril on the days that I felt like a princess?
If my happiness is to be priced or compromise,this is carrying too far.

I am still in hope.
I am still in hope that my dad will be fine.
I am still in hope.
I am still in hope that God would answer my prayers.

When I speak of God,it is very easily to think that I am praying to him in the thoughts of Christianity sense.
I often think that I am too.

But to keep myself clear.
I reminded myself that God is beyond any or all religions.
He,the almighty does not belong to Christianity alone.

I know this thought alone would have provoke alot to be against me.
I am not afraid coz my blog is not well read by the public.

I thought that God is fair and just.
Have you ever thought that it is too the work of humans that designed all these religions thing?
We never know the truth,will we?

Isn't it simpler and then more peace bringing to think that there is only ONE God?
Therefore we call him the Almighty,the King of the kings,the True one.

We cant deny perhaps the existence of Christ and Buddha.
But haven't it dawn to you that it is the same path that they are leading?

I have a very interesting notion to share.
Just read with pleasure and an open mind.
We have our fair share of what's myths and legends.
From the far lands of the Greeks to the Indians.
Who can prove them real?

Maybe with some advance science and technologies now,we had uncovered some artefacts that made our jaws dropped with bewilderment and make us a firmer believer of our own chosen religion.

I thought and is thinking...
That such group of people...who were once the well spoken mortals.
Moses,Christ,Buddha, et cetera...or maybe to the myths characters like Hercules..blah...
Were the chosen 'Adams' from God,the one and same God,to be delivered on Earth to show us his teachings and existence.

Such people are often blessed with one or more extraordinary gift that surpass any of us.
We can perhaps forget about those prominent names first.
They are too far from our era and league to be discuss.

Let's talk about M.Ghandi,Mother Theresa and many other names that you could think of that create a very positive force in our times.
There are the chosen 'Adams' and 'Eves' by God himself.
When I talk about 'Adam' and 'Eve',I may not be literally pointing to the first creation that God created and sinners that the Devil form.
In any manner,those that you know are in Christianity context.
Do you really know of their existence?
And so back to the so called 'chosens' Adams and Eves.
They brought upon a real impact on the times that we lived in.
They are just mortals.
Yet they carried a mission made known to them as they grow in years.
They may have the same religion or not.
It doesnt matter.
They were here to make a difference and then through their actions,they spread the same teaching.
The moral values.
The right path.
That God wants us to be in.
God's love is unlimited,like the light aura surrouding him.

Now that I am talking very much like how the Christians would talk.
Infact we are all very close and Christianity is indeed a very powerful religion.
I, therefore find human's actions contradicting.
On one hand we saw the discrimination of colour,sexes and so on.
Then we have campaigns that fight against such discrimination.
We want the world to be free of discrimination,judgement,and be united.

Then why?
Why would we draw the lines between religions so well.
It is as evident as black from white.
Not even a speck of grey.
Why would we wanna do that?
Could it be the difference in teachings?
The teachings of Buddha is way different from Christ?
Christ has a God and Buddha no?
Or already Buddha is a God and Christ no?

Ridiculous.

So say that they are all but a follower of one God.
The reason for the so many religions out there could be due to God's commands.
He knows that human's mind is complicated.
With the populated earth,they need something to rely on.
However we are all different.
Many of us shared the same belief and faith.
But many of us don't either.

So he had the chosen ones to go down and spread his beliefs and teachings in different ways and manners.
All promised to teach the same thing.
The only difference is the name of the religions and perhaps the practices,rituals et cetera that the followers do.
Those who err and refused the light,see hell eventually.

Hell may varies from religions to religions.
But aint they there for the same purpose/reason?
No?
I am not saying all who repent would eventually step to Heaven one day.
That is ONLY your belief of your religion.
(though that is a very comforting thought.)

I know the Taoisms and so on would believe that they will still go hell.But not the excruciating one.Only the sinful ones tasted the flames of hell.
They will be there to look after their family on mortal and then when they are ready,they will be re born.

So what makes these mortal believers think that ONLY their religion is the right one?
I am pretty sure that Christ,Buddha,Allah and the many known names in religions didn't say that.
They wouldn't.
They didnt force people to believe in their own teachings,but those who follow see the light.

It may be perhaps easier to think my way.
That there is only one God and he is the very same one in each religions.

But I doubt many or in fact none would buy that.

In a way of so,we are all angels,the 'Adams' and 'Eves'.
Just being divided to tinier and tinier portions with each passing generations.
That is why we are all living in the Earth.The only planet that has lives and advances thru' the uncountable light years.(We are leaving out the aliens or E.T,yea?)

I am sure that at least once in your life,you have been touched by an angel.
It could be a 3 year old kiddo,your friends,a stranger and so on.
We have that angel spirit in us that is very small.And very easily been tempted to turn demonic.

Only those chosen ones possessed greater power and gift to create an impact.
I stated my examples of those earlier on.

And why am I talking about all these?
This issue is not much of a concern or pain.
It is just a notion,a insignificant thought.
It's not that I will make it to the books.
With my standard,I cant.

I have to emphasize that I may be in high chances to be WRONG about all these too.

Come to think of it,it is actually easier to believe in just one religion.
My point is just not to pin point on the others.
How many blood,talkings,rumours,speculations,cusses were shed ALONE on such religions riots?

That is not what God wants.
That is not his teachings but IS the talk of the un-saint.

But once again...DID I keep using 'HE' for God?
Why on earth did I mention a notion of gender for the Almighty?
Again we stepped in a world of stereotypication and judgement.
It almost only seem right and logical for a God to be a him.
Right?

I am sorry..
But to use 'it' seems rude.
Just say 'God' will do.
If the Bible says God is both Alpha and Beta,Beginning and End.
What makes you think that God is Male?
Just because you read that he created Adam first,doesnt mean that he is a male.

In the very first place,like I've already said...The creation of Adam and Eve is only in Christianity context.
The Buddhist (or...so...) would have said we are creation of clay or is it soil by the female godness-Nu Wa.
And I remember one more story of the Giant...about how his body form life on earth.

Anyway....
I am blahing off too far from my original point.
I took the chance to express how I thought about the whole religions issue.
Which is already the talk of many famous people that long passed my century.

I only have one prayer to God now.
Please...let my father be alright.
I want no harm to come to my love ones.

I remembered often at night,when I was younger...Whenever I set down to pray for safety for the people I love,I would extend to their love ones and then to their love ones' love ones and so on.
So the chain of prayer is endless.
I even prayed for the cats and dogs,whatever that's there.
I even prayed for those still awake in the night that I saw light litting in their room.
I even prayed for those outside the regions,that means the whole earth.
Even the trees and grasses.They are too living things.

Is it a kind thought,you think?
I dunno.I just imagined that if I want no harm to come to my love ones.My love ones would want no harm to come to their love ones too.
And I thought the other living things deserved the prayer too.

So God...
I understand you are kind,the kindest!
Sometimes we learn the hard way.
Sometimes things have to be taken away,only to get the greater gifts.
This is all about the 'give & take'.
Nothing is free still.

Please...I dunno what I have taken or in the case my dad.
But my love for this man is unconditional.
I still need to carry his load for him.
Please...I beg you.
Let him be safe.
If there is anything you have to take from him,take from me instead.

My parents bore me to this earth.
It is not an easy journey to bring up one child.

You understand this.

They have slogged hard enough,all their lives.
I still have alot to learn and alot to bear.
I am on my way to where I should be.
I know often I 'complain' of the weight that's on me.
But it is not a choice.
I am accepting it.
Let me take it.

My eventual aim of the day is for my parents to be happy.
Like they DESERVE to!
They need someone to bring them that.
If the children were the reason that they need to slog so hard for more than half their lives,I shouldnt have probe why CANT the children be the ones that eventually pay them back!
TELL ME!!!!!

YOU BLOODY TELL ME ABOUT IT!!!!

Forgive me....
I really got agitated about that.
I am sick of people questioning my role!
Do you know a thing!
Do you know how bad things are!
Dont...please...robbed me of my only chance...their chance to what they deserve.
You know what I am most afraid of now.

Please...heal my father.
The most terrible thing now is that I CANT SEE him and comfort my mother.
They cant be back to seek Singapore doctors' treatment till my dad's bleeding stop.

MY younger brother perphaps know not of the issue's gravity.
Or I am the one imagining it.
I rather the latter.

Please...tell me..give me an affirmation that things will be right.
Please....Please....Please..............
Please....Please.................................................................................................................

In Your name,I sincerely pray

I am never a good o' faith believer of any religions.
To defend myself,my situation,my family,my sins,I always say that I give my fair share of respect and belief in most religions,if not all.(excluding those unordothox.)

Yet in times of helpless-ness,all I could do is to pray to the God that I find most easily to associate with.
I would have imagined that God would not allow a half believer near his doorsteps of his magnificent kingdom though.

In sane's mind,I do have a choice over my religion.
Everyone do.
But I am too trapped in a mindset that my family ruled the priority over mine.
I would have opt to suffer twice than them to go through any pain.
Thus born the "Eowyn" in me.

It was supposed to be a happy short break for my parents at Bangkok.
I leave the things that they have to worry about till they return.
I leave the responsibilities that I have to really bear till they return.

It was only yester-noon that my mum called back to complain how hot and not fun the whole trip was.
Especially lugged with a man who doesnt enjoy shopping.
That is my dad.

It was too yester night that I received the bad news.
One news that stole away the smile and the joy of my coming 21st.

My old man was in hospital with a grief soak and worried sicken wife of his.

The news came that my dad must have broken his blood vessel in his nose and blood wont stop gushing out.
It must be one of the arteries/veins.
My coaching of P4 science did not fail me with the knowledge that was long forgotten.

And now he is still in there.

Misfortunes after misfortunes.
Why is it on them and then with me alone now,here.

My student's mum called in with a bloody excuse of not wanting me to come over for tuition later.
We all know how lazy of an arse that mother can be.
I am too jaded to argue and probably do her wishes on saving the bloody $20 per lesson.
I thought of the workload that may be on the hike in the future days.(very likely)
I may not have the time to teach as well.
But I leave it to 'What comes May'.
It is a concern that could not be salvaged till the time comes.

My parents cant be back to Singapore till my dad's bleeding finally stop.(which I hope will do soon.)Coz they cant take the flight with a nose that blood keep POURING out.
Keep..pouring out...like tap that wont be turn off.
That was what my mum described.

But I heard that operation cant be done there too?Why?
What sort of mechanic would stop a broken artery/vein from mending?

What can we wait for?
The broken tissue to heal by itself.Hopefully the blood dried off and form a clog that would stop the blood from flowing out?
Or wait til the blood flows dry!!!

If you who read this now thinks that how calm I can be,sitll blogging in full structure sentences.
I wish you have a clue how hard I am fighting to stay rational and calm.

I was supposed to have a dinner with my friends tonight.
And amazingly for the first time,everyone's response was positive.

But...now the joy is robbed.
On one hand I know staying at home doesnt help.
On one hand I have no mood to go else where.

...
I know,God...
That you wont accept a half doer.
That you required one with complete faith in you and your teachings.

But I believe that you are wise.Wisest of all.
The Almighty would have understand better than any other that Christianity is only one of the religions that teach the same value.

Stories are spread.
Faith is fabricated.

I ,of all tiny creations dare not speak ill nor harm.
I fear as much as I honour.

Miracles are performed.
Coincidence is chanced.

Sins or no sins,we are all made to learn and repent.

I do not know how much you can see this or hear me,but I believe if there is a God,a You,my messages shall be read.

I do not dare to ask for consent nor ask for your forgiveness for I do not laid myself in your teachings.

I just pray...
I know that my mortal father often speak ill of Christianity.
But understand that he was misled and he too,has his own faith in another avenue.

If you are angry,let it be on me.

His choice of religion is not wrong and is one that values ordothox teachings.

It is only us,humans that draw the lines.

Please...let my love ones be alright.

My family,my friends.

Let no harm come their way.

And now...let my worried sicken mother rest with relieve.
My still conscious(thank God) but injured father be heal.

It is my silent tear.

My silent tear prayer.

You hear,my God.

A lovely last night is a good memory

For 2 days in a row,I felt truely like a princess.
Not the lonely soul princess Eowyn.(who is who I am inside.) but just those kinda pampered princess.

My body aches told me that last night is real.
That was me last night.

Thinking back,I can hardly recall that was me.

Anyway back for the memory replay:

Jason came to 'fetch' me(without a car.haha.) at 7pm.

Happy Be-early Birthday was what he said.
Well..I guess it already doesnt matter when is my bday actually.It felt all the same.

Passed me my gift which I totally have no guesses for what it is until I opened this morning.
A Braun Buffel long wallet.
I am no expert when it comes to merchadises and brands.
Thus I felt I am less girly/womanly than most out there.I never really pay attention to what's hot and what's good.
Maybe I know what is the latest colour of the season,but that only thru' observing.
I only pick what I like.Sometimes it is pretty brandless and cheap,as to compare.
My last good eau de toilette was the Oceanus by BodyShop.
That's it.

Anyway I know(that I dont even have to know) that Braun Buffel is a good leather Germany brand.
So I was in awe.
For a good few minutes last night,I was even wondering could it be Ipod Mini?Haha!
Because he told me it wasn't CD album(which I guessed) and is more expensive than a few High Societies combined.

We wanted to take Bus 133 down to Marina Square but the bus never came.(What the....)
In the end,we hailed a cab.
Well...at least we are driven.

We were welcomed by the fireworks at Promenade.
Excellent!The last time I saw fireworks so near was NDP 99.
Reminded me of the fact that beautiful things are often shortlived or there's a high price attached to it.

We had our dinner at CenterStage!(when I really dun mind the food court at MArina Loft.)
Our dinner were accompanied by the music of Ruth Ling.
A very talented panist.

This can be really enough.

We proceeded to the Henekien Elevation party at Market Place,the car roof.
Usually I dont enjoy those house music.
Oh we saw Jose,that SG French guy from NYP.(Friends of Jason but I knew him indirectly too from those TEP days.)
He must have helped himself (alot) with the beer while working there.

Initially I felt like a detached soul at the car roof.
You can see lots of pple dancing their souls away.
I merely try to move with the beats.
Beautiful pple like Annabelle Francis and Heikel were easily spotted.

The whole night,I drank very weak(almost plain) orange and cranberry vodka.
I insisted moving up to the front where the dancing kings and queens were.
And yea,amazingly I danced like them.(maybe not as well,but as crazy)

I hereby admit that that was my FIRST time really dancing.(at the age of 20.(NOT 21!!) )

It must have a few good hours.We left the party ard 1.30am odd.

Damn,I still feel tired.
I must have slept nearing 4 am and woke at 11.10am.

Had alot of house chores to do today.
My poor fan is being trapped by the dark dust bunnies.(maybe those were hares)

The clothes required some folding and those in the machines need hanging.

I still promised Piglet(my dear o'bro)a home dinner tonight.
Dunno what can I cook and dunno what to cook.
But I guess it shouldnt be that bad.

The good old' Da Vinci codes that Marc loaned to me(I have to re-read everything again.) is still in the bag.
I fell asleep after Chapter 5,with all the French codings.

Hmm....Where shall I do the groceries later?

Anyway..Just wanna thank all the yous for making me a princess.

Though that Eowyn in me wont go away.
What I have to face and carry is nearing me.Talk about it again.

But she is happy.
For she have all the lovelies with her.

Thank you for all the yous.

And I know I must thank Jason especially for being so sweet.
I think I am lucky.
I think I am undeserving too.
But I think you are lovely.

Ps:I am not Twenty-One yet!(technically.Literally I am more than that,and you know.)
Not till 12th July comes.

T'was..a shot of Lambro Gini

I was gonna say 'T'was the night,the night,the night,the night and the night before the magical twelve"...
BLAH!
Let's just say,"T'was 5 days before the magical Twelve."
I had 2 pleasant surprises,one better than the previous.
Like I mentioned previously,I NEVER expect anything nor anyone to do something.

I was expecting 3 candidates that would last me from 10am to 11 am.
So nearing 10am,my first (very sweet) candidate turned up.
I saw my colleagues preparing something behind the 'interview corner'.
I was not very concerned with what they do(as usual),so I thought they probably bought something new and blah blah blah.

I was preparing the stuff for the interview when Clara(the boss) asked me to come over.I saw them holding some stuff(which I didnt see clearly).

So I thought they bought some 'perfumes' and wanna me to 'sniff'.(I thought it was perfume bottles that they were holding.)

Till I realised it was a cake.

Oh wow..Cake..-_-~

It was after breakfast,not due for lunch.
And the same cake type of what I bought for my mum's bday wasn't exactly appealing.
But it was a pleasant surprise.I totally expect nothing.
What adds on more is there is presents.
(I expect NO gifts,I swore!)

The colleagues bought me a sea green hand bag from Ness.(which totally match what I am wearing now.)
And Clara bought a Loreal facial cleanser set.Haha.
Um...Whitening series.
Hint hint.(lol,I'm kidding)
But I am born not to be as fair as Snow White.My skin readily absorbs the sun,what can I do?
At least I am not Pochahantos black.

After work,I proceed to meet my dear Seraya bunch.
I miss them so much!
I had Marc to drive me,together with Mingli.

We were supposed to head down to ChinaSquare from PS.
Apparently the driver and that co-directioner aint very good with Singapore's routes too.
We had a little difficulty reaching Maxwell Market.
Not to mention that they are not even considering my help.Haha.

We had An Pan aka Justin Tan to lead us from Maxwell.

Met the co' at Vi'lage.
Like Marche~Nice food but expensive huh?
Their cows on display cost SGD$3000 and that is without the painting!

A hearty dinner,it was.

Satiable!

I knew I couldnt avoid the Contact Centre's bday Trick/Treat.
Our tradition is to pick up the candle using ur mouth that was push all the way in the cake.

I wasnt expecting any cakes.
I was sitting there,looking at them,sucking my straw when suddenly the bday song came.
Thank god it was just a piece of S.O.S.
Yummy!

Thank God too that we were at a restaurant so not too much subotagtion could be done and it was just a piece of cake.The candle was taken out with not much difficulty.

I fed Marc with most of my cake though.Couldnt finish it.
Yea,I fed that crocodile with that fondue too.Wait till Joanne sends the clip,it was funny.

And came their present.(I wasnt expecting but I knew there was.It was the ritual of Seraya's Contact Centre.)

I felt like Princess Michelia~
^^

But I was stunned for a few good seconds when I opened the gift.
It was a diamond pendant from TAKA that looked EXACTLY for what I bought for my mum last Mother's day!
It showed 2 things.

I had good taste.
So do them.=)

But sadly I was told by my mum this morning that she dropped the pendant.
Guess how long she kept it inside.She must have felt sad and guilty.
I felt pain,not for the pendant nor my money,but for the raw guilt and pain that my mum must have felt.

Anyway we went to Bon Times after dinner.
Damn!That was when the bartender made me the Lambro Gini(or however u spell that la).
Drinks with flame are dangerous and I have to finish in one shot!

I ain;t no drinker,no regular clubber,no smoker.
I was foreign to alot of alchohols and wines.
Wait..I still am.

But upon hearing that name,I knew it was potent!(note,I said 'potent!)
I down it and felt that it was lava that went down my esophagus.
Mingli,it tasted bad!

I swore that I wasnt drunk.For a drunkard couldnt think clearly,couldnt walk properly.
But I felt horrible.
I had a few cola and green tea mixed with Whisky before that.

At one pt of time I felt like throwing up.Coz it was too 'yurks'.
I did!I went to the toilet and threw out a few mouthful.

Noone knows except Mingli.Hehz.

Ok I have not much time to blog.
I am due for another club of a time.

Just no potent drinks.
Btw I looked highly dangerous with that eyeliner.
First time and it didnt looked bad.

Later.

With life being kept busy,no doubt time do pass faster than it seems.
Each week seems so long too.

I realised that I never or hardly had any expectations for others,as in what they can do for me or bring me.
Coz I really dont mind.

Instead I am much of a critic of myself and I expect more and higher each time.

Look fwd to tomorrow's dinner.;)
All of you,are such dearies.
How can I not miss you(s)?
Right Mingli?

Dare you to move...

Again I heard "Collide" by Howie.D.

Sometimes...
I find that things or people that brushed by our lives are somewhat reminiscent.

It could be just the location that remains the same.
It could be the acts or behaviours or styles that are somewhat similar.
It could the many or few things.

It just remind us of something or someone that is often connected with the past.

And more than often,it doesn't feels good.

But it is okay,I guess.
It does at one point or another show that we ARE already moving on.
Ain't I right?

At least we are able to classified that as a 'past'.

Sometimes...
When we met such group of people or things(that are reminiscent.), we do not dare to come too close to them.
It's not wrong but neither it is right.
It is no doubt a choice,but then one choice made may indirectly hurt the other.
Am I wrong about this?

This is just a random thought.

"I wanna be with you.If only for the night,to be the one whose in your arms to hold you tight.
I wanna be with you.There's nothing to say.There's nothing that I want more to feel this way"

I am just quoting the lyrics that's playing on air now.
The song that made me look at Mandy Moore and listen.

Anyway~~

I started my day with a rather 'suay' note and made me conversed like a regular stupid army guy.(yes..with that F strings.But I didnt say out loud la.)

I walked all the way nearing the MRT and realised that I left my wallet back at home.
Fustrated,I walked back and called my uncle(who is a cabby) if he is able to drive me to work.
Of coz it is a 'no'.
By the time I got home and retrieved that stupid wallet,it's 8.30am plus.
I am gonna be late for sure so I just wanna flag a cab.(At the expense of my money just to enjoy that luxury of air con.It's damn sunny this morning)

Hell!No cabs at all!
Since I am gonna be late,I might as well just take the train.
Of coz I was late(by a amazing of 8 mins only)but I rushed till I thought I will just drop dead half way.

Lately...I am very scatter brain.
It is not quite me.
It must be the stress at work.

It is not quite possible to remember every single things when I have so (so so so so ) many stuffs on hand.
And I felt that it is eating away my brain and affecting my whole digestive system.

Sometimes I could instantly feel my BP dipping.
You know that 2-3 seconds of "whoa~I need a hand to support me"

And I rushed from work to another work.

Life's busy.

Somehow...
I am satisdied...BLAH!I mean satisFied.

(Why did I type 'D')

But I was going to say...
I am a little worried for my health though.
Coz when I rushed for my life,I felt instantly very weak.

Of coz I do believe that I am still in pink health right now(maybe not the brightest shape of pink la)

Maybe I should add *Full body check up* to my lst of to dos.

But $ is the prob.
It always is.

Damn..just I am talking about health,that slight dizzy spells had to strike.

I am so full.
But I guess I have to sleep now.

Y'er Beautiful~And I will never be with you.

I know..
From the things that you are doing.

It's apparent what you want.

Why?
Like I am forcing my way?
*smile*

Don't worry.
I always coloured within the lines.

No doubt it upsets me.

But I know better than to upset anyone else.

Some things,I am the last line of defence.
Some things,You are my last line of defence.

To some pple,I wont hurt you to protect me.
And to some,I wont hurt myself to protect you.

Coz I cant let myself fall to 'myself'.

There are still pple that need me to stand.

Of coz this entry is not for u to guess who.
Not someone of a past.
Not someone of a present.
Cant be from the future.
From my dream,that angel came.
And too,'it' left too fast .

=)

Y'er beautiful...And I wont be with you.
Coz you dont want me to too.

Just a passing note.
Dont take it to heart.
I am just talking..to me.

U & I Collide

Work was too rush today.
And it knotted all my intestines.
It really didnt feel good.
But hell,I love the challenge.
BUT BUT~This kinda stress is not very good for body.
I felt as though my stomach burned a hole.

I am trying to fill my calender.
Fill in every blanks.
Yet make time for my family and then my friends.

I got this darn feeling that my boss is trying to hint me something.
She is practically pushing all the orders to me.
Either she wants me to be up to it or she thinks I am not performing.
(I thought I closed a few temp posts?)

I still like that Howie Day's song.

These days...It is more like burying myself with the events in life.
Work,tuition,gatherings and so on.
It is scary somehow..to be empty.

But sure it is much better than last week.

Wednesday.
Another tiring day,it's gonna be.

May the strength be with all of us.

(I know..I forgot to blog about what I want to...again.
Bad selective memory.)

The milky way to the twilight zone

And I just wanna say 'Good night'.
Good night to those who read.
Good night to those who don't read.

Good night to those whom I love.
Of coz good night to those whom I dont love to.(Just dont make me wish you sweet dreams.)

Good night to my new born nephew!
I forgot to blog that on 2nd July morning,I received the good news!
And good night to his two twin sisters.
Of coz to their lovely parents,my fav uncle.
All at Batam~

Good night to everyone who are under the same black skies tonight.
And maybe good morning to those who already greeted the sun on the other half of the globe.

And good night to Stinky & Stinko.
Of coz to all other creatures in the house,including the awful lizards.
I know you(lizards) meant no harm but I am just scare of u.

(Good old "Dilemma" came on air..sigh..that song.*pain*)

Good night to those who loved me,those I loved.
Good night to those who still love me and those I love.
=)
*not alot though*
(Just to add on,Jason is just my first boyfriend.No one took that title before him. Happy,boo?;p)

Good night to my late grandparents.
=)

Good night to those who are my friends,were my friends and then are gonna be my friends.

Good night to you.
Just you.
And you,means you.
Dont look anywhere else.
It is YOU!

Good night to the sillies on my bed.
Oh they are the plushies.Small small ones.
I used to kiss them good night too.

Good night to Monday,4th July 2005.

Good night to the lovely yesterday and I will greet tomorrow good morning,then night too.

Good night to my memories.
You are sweet.
You are bitter.
You are complete.
You are shattered.
Just good night.

Good night to my pain inside.
Sleep well and dont wake for soon.

Good night to your pain,if ya feeling too.
Same thing..Sleep well and don't wake up soon.Better,don't wake up.

Good night to my angel.
Please dont leave me.

Good night to a whole lot of things and people I failed to mention here.
Good night.

Good night.
Bonnuit.
Wan An.
Oyasuminasai.
Buonas noches.
Goede nacht.
Gute Nacht.
Buona notte.
Boa noite.

(ps,I realised alot of pple mistaked the french "moi" as 'my'.
Though I am no expert but I wanna go "hehehehe" until the experts come prove me wrong.
It is otherwise known as "mon")
(hey experts,shudap~I dont need corrections~no nononnonononononono(madagascar's style)

Ok.that's enough gd night.
Frankly speaking,I only know the first 4.

And I just heard lizard greeting me good night in my room!

ARGH~
GET OUTTA HERE!

Rained the blues on me.

I woke up to the song that opened for the show -'Alot like Love',
(Yea,I forgot the name)
Then my stupid bro closed my windows and spoke of something about "The lightings will cont'd strike for 27 times."
Guess who watched "War of the Worlds?"

Have no idea if it was the rain or the Monday blues?
Guess it's the combo.

Work is supposingly be fine till Clara(the sheepish eyes ..um..I will come up with a name.I'm big on nick names on certain pple,esp bosses) rejected my leave and make it 2 days.
Fine!
2 days and 2 days it shall be.
Then she kept asking if I got do telemarketing and asked others to tell me to find candidates for them.
Hello!
Are you trying to hint me that I am not doing my job?I am not hard working enough?
BLah!

Ok fine!
Take things in my stride and I will prove you wrong.
Grr!
Nah..I should shrug nonchalently.
Be cool!

You haven't seen Dogbert,Dino,Catbert and Stoneagee.(oh and Ratbert!)
Nah..they aren't exactly the characters from Dilbert.
Read last...um..Aug - Dec 04 posts.

I just saw this msg from Friendster.
Type "I Cant Type very well with my eyes close" with your eyes close.

Here I go:
"I can;t type very well with my eyes close."

99% error free.
Not bad.

Supposed my leave is on the 11th and 12th.
My parents would be off to Bangkok on the 8th to 12th.(LUCKY!!I WANNA GO TO!!I ALWAYS WANNA GO!!)
But I thought my mum didnt really fancy the idea of gg with my dad though.Haha.
I have a dinner on the 8th and 11th.
Guess it's not so bad.

Except I really dont wanna be alone on Sunday.
Noone would be at home.
Any takers?
Pls?
Take the c8t out for a walk?
(This is not for Jason coz I will be seeing him on the 9th.Hehz*)

I thought that I thought of something @ wk today.
But again..I forgot.
I thought I have got bad memory but I guess it is just that we practiced selective memory.

Say I am not big on actors',directors' etc names.
Not too good with song titles too.
Not good with minor details in life but then they are important!(then I am labelled as the careless fool.)
And some other things.

Sometimes I tried to recall but to no avail.
And I ended looking like I am trying to think but in actual my mind is already tuning off to those zig-zag screen on tv.
Just like 5 seconds ago when I caught myself dreaming.
-_-

When I alighted at Serangoon today,I saw this gorgeous Ipod Mini infront of me.
Almost wanna go touch it and hiss that famous line "My preccciiioouussssss~~~~"
Haha.
Come to think of it,that pink one doesnt look very nice to me.
Ok I've made up my mind.
Electric green it shall be.
But..Hey,I dont even think I will be getting it for some time unless it drop from the sky to my hands.
Haha.

Note:
I am not dropping any hints and make it subtle.
This is just a pure comment.
Beside I dont really fnacy what's given when asked.
This doesnt apply to 'trouble'.
Stay out!

So comes Tuesday in about 2 hours and 55 mins time.

Sunday!
Any takers.
Calling once~
If no one wants to see me,I will just be the singing queen at home and break all glass!
I am be as poppy to soppy.
I can be Mandy Moore to Mariah Carey.
I can be Toni Braxton to Evannessance.
I can be Diana Krall to Sade.
There is no connections b/w any of them and I am really just kidding.

Calling twice!

Sob...Cries of the lonely c8t.

.

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way, She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her, I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
I's where she lies, broken inside.With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find a reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.

Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah


This is just a song.
A song for me,inside.
It doesnt makes me much less of a person that you know.

I am still by your side.

Sweet Sorrow is the call tomorrow.

I always surfed to read my friends' blogs and then discovered some other.
Some of my friends blogs are practically dedicated to their 'da da','dear dear','dear','darling' etc.
Whole of it.
Makes me drowsy reading them.
Haha.

Makes me wanna sing Sixpence None the Richer 'Kiss Me' to them.
Haha.

Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grassS
wing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map

It feels great to be in love but again being in love doesnt means you are in fairyland all the time.
There's a price to pay,an effort or really alot of efforts to make.
And sometimes those are not sufficient,it really depends on other factors and then up to Anthea.(Did I get the Greek love godness name right?)

Anyway we often let our own train of thoughts and fear for the future,insecurity (blah blah) baffled our route.
(That's me)

So try to remind urself that it is NOW you are living in.
Past is gone.
Tomorrow to create and be bless to come.

*shrugs*

Wonderful looking Sunday.
I tried my best not to think of tml is Monday and when Monday comes it is not that bad.

A new week should be looked forward with anticipation.
Just rest well this weekend.

Somehow I was thinking of Damien Rice 'Cannonball',which is coincidentally playing now.

Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on
Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little BIT of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer EACH DAY
Still I can't SAY what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer TO ME
So close that I can't see what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy'
Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't WANNA scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know

When I first heard this song,I thought it just doesn't makes sense.
And now looking at the lyrics,it just dont sound too bright.
Um.

I have been thinking of this post of Fear.
Wanted to make some changes to it.
I saw it from some other blog.(not a friend)
It just took the words outta everyone's mouth and it is so simple.

Guess I would just copy n paste the original post here.

I fear to get drunk, for i may make a fool out of myself,
I fear to stay sober, for i cannot accept reality.

I fear to tell the truth, for people rather listen to lies,
I fear to tell lies, for i have to keep telling more to cover the previous one.

I fear to have fun, for i don't think i deserve to,
I fear to suffer, for i don't want to treat myself badly.

I fear to get into a relationship, for i may get hurt,
I fear to stay single, for i will die alone.

I fear to do badly, for i cannot dissappoint myself,
I fear to do well, for i have to work harder to outdo myself next time.

I fear to go clubbing, for i feel like i don't belong there anymore,
I fear to stay home, for i don't want to be there.

I fear to run the red light, for i may get knock down,
I fear to wait for the green light, for i will be late.

I fear to speak my mind, for i may offend others,
I fear to reserve my thoughts, for doing so offends me.

I fear to work everyday, for i need to rest,
I fear to laze around, it makes me feels useless.

I fear to meet strangers, for i don't want to get judge by people i don't know,
I fear to meet friends, for i feel like i don't know them anymore.

I fear to stay awake, for i have to face the world,
I fear to sleep, for i may not wake up ever again.

I fear commitment, for i want to be free,
I fear diversity, for i need focus in my life.

I fear to stay young, for i want to mature,
I fear to grow old, for its not as easy as it seems.

I fear contradiction, for it messes up my mind,
I fear single mindedness, for it leaves me with no choice.

I fear life, for life is full of uncertainties
I fear death, for death is random.

I fear everything, especially fear itself.
It takes great amount of courage everyday to wake up and face our daily fears.

Give yourself a pat on your back, treat yourself nice today.
You deserves it :D

Excellent,isn't it?